The Great Muppet Survey

CALLING ALL MUPPET FANS!!

The Muppet Mindset wants YOU! No, not your obnoxious little sister--not your creepy Aunt Gertrude--YOU! This blog is dedicated to providing the Web with the Muppt fan's viewpoint--the Muppet fan's mindset. What better way to integrate the minds of Muppet fans than by plucking your mind for information? That's why we at The Muppet Mindset want YOUR opinion! We want to know what YOU think about the Muppets. Why you love them, how you grew to love them, what you love about them, what you want to see from them, what you don't want to see from them, etc.

How will we get this precious information you ask? It's simple! By providing you, our most dedicated of readers, with a list of survey questions for the answering. Your task is to simply copy and paste the questions into a Microsoft Word (or Word Perfect or Wordpad or whatever the heck you use--we just ask that you refrain from sending via carrier pigeon. They leave a huge mess.) document and answer them! Yes! We want your answers, your opinions, your insight, your lack-of-insight, whatever! We want it!

Once your questions are answered, attach the document in an e-mail and send it to ryguy102390@gmail.com. E-mails sent anywhere else will probably not get to the Mindset--and you don't want that do you? So without further ado or further pointless typing from me, let's see the questions, shall we?

If you could sit down to a meal with any Muppet, who would it be? Why would you choose said Muppet? What would you serve? Could they keep their elbows on the table?


If you could only watch one Muppet production for the rest of your life (e.g. Muppets From Space, one episode of The Muppet Show, Fraggle Rock, or Sesame Street, Billy Bunny's Animal Songs, etc.), what would it be? Why?


If President Obama called you and asked you to meet him at the White House to discuss Muppet projects and he asked you to bring the "greatest" Muppet moment, what would you bring? Would you wear an American flag lapel pin?


You find yourself in a college-level English class with the assignment of writing an essay on your favorite performance from your favorite Muppeteer (while applying Shakesperian rhetoric, of course). Which Muppeteer and production would you choose?


On a high school debate team, you find yourself posed the question, "What have the Muppets been missing in recent productions?" How do you answer? Do you state your answer in the form of a question? Can I have "Foreign Cheeses" for $200, Alex?


Who is your ideal Muppet date? Gentlemen, this question is definitely meant to only have one possible, porcine answer.


Where do you see the Muppets in five years?


What's the name of that song?

If you had front-row tickets to the Muppet concert of your dreams, which Muppet or group of Muppets would you hope were playing? Could Marvin Suggs get away with holding a Muppaphone concert now that PETA has gained prominence?


If a judge ruled that Grover had to be your personal assistant for a month, what jobs would you have him do? Keep in mind that he is very experienced and versatile.


If you have cares, do you dance them away, saving your worries for another day? Or do you simply work said cares away, saving dancing for another day?


It's Prairie Dawn vs. Scooter in a battle of organizational wit--which side do you choose? Note: Neither side offers dental.


Suppose you were offered the opportunity to teach a class based on one subject from the vast world of Jim Henson's Muppets. Which subject would you choose? The Kermit and Piggy love story? The exponential increase of Elmo sightings compared to the rapid decline of Sherlock Hemlock apperances? Snuffleupagus 101? Music Anti-Theory: The Electric Mayhem? Evolution and The Muppets: Why Darwin would love a talking frog? Doozer Architecture?


What is your favorite show starring a singing pig?


Do you think the legislation allowing chickens to dance onstage should be passed?


Argue your side of this issue: "The government should require all children to watch Sesame Street until age 7." (This could also establish a program to deal with those children who have not watched Sesame Street: Cash for Flunkers.)

I'm now going to show you a series of words or phrases. I want you to tell me the first word or phrase that comes to your mind upon reading...

Drumsticks
Onion
Bubbles
Bunk-Beds
Doorknob
Kermit's Swamp Years
Wilkins' Coffee
Here/Hear


I'll now present you with a series of images, tell me what you see...

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Whoop! There it is! Now it's your turn! Submit responses to the questions (you don't have to answer all of them) and e-mail them to me at ryguy102390@gmail.com. THE LAST DAY TO SUBMIT ANSWERS IS MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 21st. YOUR answers to The Great Muppet Survey will be revealed here on The Muppet Mindset on Friday, September 25th and Sunday, September 27th.

So get your furry behinds into gear and fill out The Great Muppet Survey! It is your duty as a fine, upstanding, morally and socially inept Muppet fan!