In Search of Missing Muppets

NEWS UPDATE - November 5th, 2009

As reported, Big Bird appeared on ABC's Jimmy Kimmel Live! last night. In case you missed it, the interview has been posted in two parts on the show's official YouTube channel. (Part 1, Part 2)Watch for yourself and see just how awesome the Bird is on late-night TV!

Remember yesterday when Big Bird stepped on Google? Well the rampage of the famous search engine continues today as Cookie Monster devours the entire search engine himself. Be sure to check out Google's homepage for yourself to see the carnage. (No word yet on if Cookie Monster was hired by Bing.com to devour Google.)

In Search of Missing Muppets

Michael Wermuth, Jr. - Over the years, there have been many Muppet characters. There have probably been more Muppets then there have been years. There's probably a Muppet for every second of the day. Some have been popular, others haven't. And over the years certain characters have mysteriously disappeared. Maybe they have been lost. Maybe they have retired. Maybe they are too one-note. Some say that they have performers who didn't like them. Others say that the writers disliked them. And some say that they may have... How do I put this?... Worn out and deteriorated. Sure, some of them have appeared in illustrated form in the recent comics, and a few may have been made as action figures, but we are on the hunt for these missing Muppets!

Lips

Last seen in The Muppet Christmas Carol, Lips was a part-time trumpet player for Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem. During his time on The Muppet Show, he was only used whenever a trumpet player was needed. Seriously. He wasn't in the good nights, he wasn't seen just hanging around in group scenes (unless a trumpet player was needed), and unlike his more experienced band mates he never played any alternate instruments. He may have been incredibly shy whenever he wasn't playing the trumpet. After all, he rarely speaks, and in group scenes he sort of looks shy, though obviously not shy enough to play the trumpet in public (or, for that matter, not shy enough to have a look and outfit that draws attention to him). He tagged along with the Muppets for The Great Muppet Caper and A Muppet Family Christmas, plus a few other things, but has rarely even been seen in official illustrated merchandise. He hasn't even been seen in any of the recent Muppet comic books from Boom! Studios. He could very well be used in the opening two-page spreads if nothing else. So where is he, and why hasn't he worked in a long time? Did he have a falling-out with the rest of the band? Did the band see him as the Oliver Brady of the Electric Mayhem? Will he be found in time for the next Muppet movie?

Seymour
He was once Pepe's partner, until Muppets Tonight was mercilessly canceled too soon and Pepe became one of the main characters. Seymour has not been seen since. So what the heck has happened to him? Pepe claims that they broke up the act and that Seymour lived in Florida until his green card expired. But could Pepe have done something more drastic in order to become a star in his own right? In fact, I wonder if the so-sweet-he'd-never-be-suspected Thog did such a thing to Thig.

Uncle Deadly
He was the phantom of the Muppet Theater, giving great performances until he was killed by the critics. He haunted the Muppet Theater for awhile, me this idol, Vincent Price, and had occasionally appeared in the background of later productions. But he has not been seen (in puppet form) since that introduction for The Muppets at Walt Disney World. Sure, he's been in the comics and was made as an action figure, but something tells me he's out there, somewhere, haunting somebody or some thing. My guess is the Haunted Mansion.

Nigel
Believe it or not, there have been two Muppets named Nigel, and they have both been missing for at least ten years (unless you count the first Nigel's cameos in the first issue of The Muppet Show Comic Book and the second issue of Muppet Robin Hood). The first one was the host of The Muppet Show: Sex and Violence until he got demoted to the conductor for the orchestra and was given very little else to do, besides participate in group scenes and numbers (oh, and write the theme song). Last seen in an episode of The Jim Henson Hour, he may have been seen as being too wimpy to not only be the main character, but to be with the Muppets at all. Man, it's not easy being wimpy.. Hmm, I feel a song coming on...

But now let's move on to the other Nigel. The director of Muppets Tonight. He looked suspiciously similar to Droop, who is also missing (and has been since The Muppet Christmas Carol). Nigel's moods often switched between calm and frustrated. He hasn't been seen at all since Muppets Tonight. Too bad. He could have been the director seen at the beginning of It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie. Or he could have directed UFO Mania in Muppets From Space (if you're reading this, Rob Schneider, then I don't mean it personally). Considering his switch in moods, perhaps he had a split personality, and is in a mental institution. I'll have to go checking. Crazy Harry can help me break him out if he's there.

Annie Sue
Miss Piggy's rival at the Muppet theater. Being new and young (and a pig), Miss Piggy couldn't stand having her around. Heck, hardly any female Muppets besides Janice and Camilla have lasted. Annie Sue was reportedly last seen in the audience in Muppets Tonight. Maybe The Swedish Chef knows something about her disappearance...

Mad Monty
Being part of a main pirate trio in Muppet Treasure Island, Mad Monty was apparently ditched by his fellow major pirates, Polly Lobster and Clueless Morgan, when the two got their own sketch on Muppets Tonight. Hmmm, I wonder who might have been responsible for that.... Of course the other two have been missing since Muppets Tonight.

Gladys
No, not the more famous cow from Sesame Street. This Gladys was an odd character. She was probably the only member of the crew who never did anything on-stage at the theater, devoting her time solely to supervising the canteen. Considering this, and the fact that her looks likely wouldn't attract Kermit, I doubt that Miss Piggy had anything to do with her departure--although the two didn't seem to get along anyway. Then again, could the camera crew have been too scared to go down into the canteen? Well, considering what might have been served down there, combined with the service and Gladys' attitude...

Marvin Suggs and the Muppaphones
One of the greatest occasional acts on The Muppet Show, and among the most violent, Marvin Suggs was last seen 10 years ago in the crowd in Muppets From Space, while the Muppaphones were last seen on Mopatop's Shop, always under different names and identities (presumably to avoid being found by Marvin). Could Marvin have ended his act after running out of Muppaphones? Could PETA have pressed charges against him? Are the Muppaphones an endangered species thanks to him (if they weren't already endangered when they started the act)? The world may never know... (Unless we find them.)

The Cast of The Jim Henson Hour
A brand-new cast of characters was created for The Jim Henson Hour while very few of the classic Muppets were used in a major way. After that show was wrongfully canceled too soon, Kermit dumped most of them in favor of his old friends. Sure, Clifford and Bean Bunny remained major for awhile, and are still used every now and then (though it seems like Clifford is on the verge of being on this list), and some of the characters, mostly the most rarely-seen (on The Jim Henson Hour, that is), have shown up in the background or in alternate identities (such as Zhondra becoming Darcy and Jacques Roach becoming Yves St. La Roach). Even the coolest and most-used of the new characters, Digit, has hardly been brought back (though he did make a comeback for the Muppet Party Cruise video game in 2003). I seriously hope Digit hasn't malfunctioned--if he has, will Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and Beaker be willing to revive him? Was Waldo permanently put out of his misery by The Swedish Chef? Will Vicki, Leon, Beard, Lindbergh, and Flash speak at the next "Obscure '80s TV Series" convention? And let's not get started on the characters from the pilot known as InnerTube...

There are many other missing characters not brought up here. Such as Mean Mama, Miss Mousey, Fleet Scribbler, Gaffer, Hilda, the cast of Little Muppet Monsters, and more. If you find any of these missing Muppets, go up and ask them personally what happened, see if they'll be in future Muppet productions, and if necessary, lock them up into a crate, send the crate to The Muppets Studio with a note attached informing the studio that these characters need to be in the next production PRONTO! Thank you.