The ToughPigs Ugly Muppet Toy Pageant 2010: My Comments

A yearly tradition in the Muppet fan community is the always-awesome ToughPigs Ugly Muppet Toy Pageant. It is here that ugly Muppet toys from all over the world come together to be ridiculed by we, the obsessed fans. Yesterday our good friends at ToughPigs posted the results of the contest, complete with comments from the hilarious tough piggies themselves. So, in the spirit of harmony, cross-promotion, and a lack of a post for today, I present my comments and ratings for the Ugly Toys of 2010! (Yes, I do have permission from ToughPigs to be doing this.)

Remember that the toys are ranked on an ugliness scale from 1-5, with 1 being "Not very ugly at all" and 5 being "Good lord, someone get some kerosene and matches."

Barkley beanbag, Kellog's cereal giveaway. Submitted by Evan G.

"Hey, kids! Now you too can own everyone's favorite TV superstar: Space-Simulator Barkley! (Vomit not included.)" 2

Clown Cookie Monster. Submitted by Joe H.

Good lord. Does this scream, "Me no WANT to be clown! Multicolored jumpsuit WAY too tight!" to anyone else? 1

Red Fraggle puppet, Dr. Doozer line, 2009.

So THAT's what Muppets look like right after someone shoves a hand up there. 5

Miss Piggy bank, Sigma - late 70s. Submitted by Lara F.

I think the money-in-the-cleavage jokes insinuating Miss Piggy is employed as a voyeur are too easy... So instead I'll just say that the pig needs a tanning bed. 3

Zoe doll. Found on eBay.

They made merchandise of the Zoe puppet from Season 40! The horror! The HORROR!! 5

Knockoff Big Bird doll. Found on the web.

Alright, Bird, where'd ya get the meth from? Abby told you it was fairy dust, didn't she? 4

Mokey doll, Tomy, 1983. Submitted by Justin P.

So THIS is why Mokey has been excluded from DVD packaging! 4 

 Magic Light Ernie, Tyco. Found on eBay.

Does his shirt say, "I <3 Dookie"? 2

Gonzo and Fozzie Pook-a-looz, 2010. Submitted by Mini Skunk.

Who would've ever thought we'd see the day when we could buy Muppet chokers? 1

Bert as a witch. Found on eBay.

Quick! Someone pour water on it! 3

Toccata doll from 1 Rue Sesame. Submitted by Scott H.

Is he a firefighter or an old lady on Easter? Bob, have you been mixing and matching items in the "People in Your Neighborhood" box again? 5

Piggy doll. Submitted by Joel S.

The only way this is distinguishable as Miss Piggy is that it has a dress on and a pig snout. 4

Elmo ornament, Kurt S. Adler, 2008. Submitted by Jes E.

Elmo loves crack! Does baby want to have some crack? Baby wants to ask Dorothy what crack is? Baby can't, Elmo sold Dorothy for more crack. 2

Red Fraggle figure. Submitted by Jog J.

See, kids, eat your bananas or your feet will swell larger then your head just like Red here! 4

Vinylmation Kermit pin. Submitted by Lara F.

It's cute in a cross-promotional, synergy-laden, corporate-icon promoting kind of way. 1

Rosita beanbag. Submitted by Nick H.

Rosita thought her wings could act as a parachute when she jumped from the plane... obviously not. 3

And there you have it, folks! The ToughPigs Ugly Toy Pageant 2010 entrants and my comments and ratings on them. Be sure to check by ToughPigs for the real Ugly Toy Pageant and read even more hysterical comments!

Special thanks to Ryan Roe and the rest of ToughPigs for letting me do this!











The Muppet Mindset by Ryan Dosier