More Official Character Descriptions from "The Muppets"

The fine folks at Disney Publicity and Marketing have provided us with even more official character descriptions from The Muppets! You'll remember that way back in September we spotlighted character descriptions of Kermit, Miss Piggy, Fozzie, Gonzo, Animal, Walter, Gary, Mary, Tex Richman, and Veronica. Well, these extra descriptions give insight into some of the other Muppet players. Check them out below and thanks again to Disney for the information!

STATLER & WALDORF (Statler & Waldorf) return to the balcony in Disney's "The Muppets" as feisty and curmudgeonly as ever. These two old hecklers let the insults fly—as well as serving an important public service. "We didn't want to be in the movie," explains Statler, "but we felt it was our duty." Adds Waldorf, "Yeah, somebody's got to warn the rest of the audience what they're in for."

This time, the duo takes center stage, sharing the fine print of the Muppet contract with villain Tex Richman. Of course, Statler and Waldorf ("The Muppet Movie," "The Great Muppet Caper," TV's "The Muppet Show") don't realize that Tex plans to raze Muppet Studios and drill for oil, which would mean the end of their balcony—and their heckling.

One thing is certain. Statler and Waldorf think everyone should see this movie. "We had to sit through it," says Statler. "The least folks could do is share our pain."

THE SWEDISH CHEF (The Swedish Chef) is behind some rather combustible culinary creations in Disney's "The Muppets," especially after he discovers a long forgotten refrigerator in the rundown Muppet Studios.

The Swedish Chef ("The Muppet Show") is equally at home in the kitchen and on set. Wherever he goes, he's fighting a never-ending battle against food and ingredients; a battle he rarely, if ever, wins. It didn't take much convincing to get him to return to Muppet Studios when production kicked off.

'Zikkledeffer gøøbee der smidleflingen," says the Chef. "Vooshkee høøksker mit gingen agloofe majuskee! Børk! Børk! Børk!" (Roughly translated: "It's not everyday you get offered to play the role of Chef from Sweden. Besides, I had a soufflé in the oven and an afternoon free, so why not!? Børk! Børk! Børk!")

DR. BUNSEN HONEYDEW & BEAKER (Dr. Bunsen Honeydew & Beaker) are still hard at work in Muppet Labs—where their latest invention shrinks poor Beaker ("The Muppet Show") to pocket size. Undeterred by this diminutive debacle, Beaker fortunately returns to normal size to complete his latest big-screen appearance, all with the help of his mentor and boss, the legendary Dr. Bunsen Honeydew ("The Muppet Show").

"We are scientific consultants on the movie as well as scientific consultants in the movie," says Honeydew. "Very meta, don't you agree?"

"Meep meep meep," adds Beaker, who—in addition to his scientific contributions—was also tapped for an all-Muppet barbershop quartet rendition of Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit."

SAM THE EAGLE (Sam the Eagle) lends his patriotic disdain to Disney's "The Muppets" in a heroic effort to add dignity to the telethon's opening musical number and spirit to the barbershop quartet.

Sam Eagle ("The Muppet Show"), who has always looked askance at the Muppets' supposedly entertaining efforts, explains his reason for being part of Disney's "The Muppets." "I play an American Eagle who stands for all that is good and decent in the world, thus standing in sharp contrast to the rest of the weirdoes in this movie."

ROWLF THE DOG (Rowlf) isn't exactly tough to track down in Disney's "The Muppets." Kermit and the gang fetch the piano-playing dog from a cozy hammock and convince him to return to the stage. And, it turns out, Rowlf's ("The Muppet Movie," TV's "The Muppet Show') unique canine musical sensibilities prove perfect for the all-Muppet barbershop quartet.

"You could say that this is Rowlf unleashed," says Rowlf, who has been with the Muppets since the early days. "In this movie, I really get to do what I like best—play piano, sing, tell jokes and take myself for long walks around the neighborhood."

SCOOTER (Scooter) takes the threat to Muppet Studios in Disney'’s "The Muppets" to heart. "I'm stage manager of the Muppet Theater," explains Scooter. "I try to help Kermit save the studio, 'cause without a theater and stage, there's really not much for a stage manager to do."

Scooter ("The Muppet Show") gets to play a new role in the movie—as host—when, in a pinch, Kermit calls on Scooter to fill in for him on stage. Unfortunately the classic advice Scooter gets to calm his nerves—pretend that the audience is naked—doesn't necessarily work for him.

DR. TEETH AND THE ELECTRIC MAYHEM BAND (Dr. Teeth, Floyd Pepper, Janice, Zoot & Animal) rock the house, shake the foundations and do both major and minor structural damage with their funky, heavy rockin' musical sounds. And even though Animal has allegedly sworn off drumming in exchange for a more peaceful existence, Dr. Teeth, Floyd, Janice and Zoot have other ideas in mind for their legendary drummer—all of which lead to a seriously rockin' rendition of "Rainbow Connection."

Dr. Teeth highly recommends Disney's "The Muppets." "If you see only one movie," he says, "this is absotively, possolutely the one to see! And if you see two movies this year, I'd recommend goin' to see this one twice. We need the gig, you dig?"

Janice agrees. "It will, like, help you achieve total inner grooviosity, fer sure." To which saxophonist Zoot adds "Huh?"

Floyd Pepper was chasing Animal and could not be reached for comment.

The Muppet Mindset by Ryan Dosier, ryguy102390@gmail.com