Written by Ryan Dosier.
BEAUREGARD
Performed by...
Dave Goelz
First appearance...
The Muppet Show Episode 310: Marissa Berenson (1978)
Most recent appearance...
Muppets Most Wanted (2014)
Best known role...
Dim-witted janitor of the Muppet Theater
Famous quote...
"What color are their hands now?"
WHO IS BEAUREGARD?
Beauregard is the custodian, janitor, and general handy man for the Muppet Theater. He is not very bright by any means and usually finds a way to mess up the job he's supposed to be doing. Beauregard, sometimes just called "Beau," has been employed at the Muppet Theater as the janitor since Season 3 of
The Muppet Show, replacing George the Janitor, who worked at the theater in Season 1. Beauregard has been known to get on the nerves of Kermit, Scooter, and Miss Piggy (though he does seem to have a sweet relationship with the latter).
In his first appearance on
The Muppet Show, Beauregard was part of the song "Do Re Mi" with some of the other Muppets. It wasn't until three episodes later that he was first seen working as a janitor/stagehand. In Episode 313: Helen Reddy, Beauregard greases the floors and later uses way too much sand, inadvertently causing the closing number to be desert-themed. Beauregard would continue to appear in numerous episodes of
The Muppet Show throughout the course of its run, flubbing up his duties and adding another frustration for Kermit.
One of Beau's most notable moments on the show was in Episode 503: Joan Baez where he befriends a group of rats, including Rizzo, after he lets them eat from the refrigerator. The rats quickly dub Beau an honorary rat and even elect him rat president. When Kermit threatens to fire him unless the rats leave, Beauregard fights for his rat friends and prepares to take the hit. Shockingly, it's Miss Piggy who helps Beau come to his senses and see that the rats are using him to get what they want.
Beauregard's largest role of all came in
The Great Muppet Caper in 1981 where he played a taxi driver in London. He drove Kermit, Fozzie Bear, and Gonzo around London town until finally crashing into the lobby of the Happiness Hotel--a practice that doesn't seem new to Pops or any of the other residents. Later, when the Muppets are planning their heist, Kermit says that they'll have to catch the thieves of the Fabulous Baseball Diamond red handed. Beauregard blinks and asks, "What color are their hands now?" This line became a fan-favorite and a defining moment for the dim-witted Beauregard.
The lovable dope faded into the background after
The Great Muppet Caper. He did have speaking parts in
A Muppet Family Christmas and
The Muppets at Walt Disney World. In the latter, he took Miss Piggy on a whirlwind tour of the Disney Parks, making her suffer through all the thrill rides while he sat back and enjoyed them quietly. This pairing was very interesting and effective in the special, but unfortunately it has yet to be seen again.
Unfortunately, Beauregard faded into the background, and thus obscurity throughout the 1990s. He had a brief line at the end of the Sandra Bullock episode of
Muppets Tonight, but other than that remained completely silent for almost 20 years, even though he appeared in
Muppets From Space,
It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie, and
Letters to Santa. Beauregard returned to a speaking role on Muppets.com in 2008, where he starred in three "Better Living with Bobo the Bear" videos alongside Bobo the Bear. The duo was hysterical together presenting topics such as working out, makeovers, and removing unsightly hares (not a spelling error). This pair-up essentially proved that Beauregard can work will with almost any Muppet.
In the past few years Beauregard has held a steady tertiary role in Muppet productions, most notably appearing and singing in 2009's "Bohemian Rhapsody" viral video. Beau also appeared in an episode of
The Muppets Kitchen with Cat Cora, helping to a mess of the World's Biggest Sandwich. He also appeared with a large group of Muppets in "The Muppet Show Theme Song" music video with OK Go. Beauregard's biggest role recently was in
The Muppets in 2011. In the feature film, while the Muppets are cleaning up the theater, Scooter opens up a broom closet only to find Beauregard there with a hammock set up. Beauregard is thrilled to see Scooter as he says, "Scooter! Good to see you! Where's everybody been?" It's good to know that after all these years Beau is still dedicated to his janitorial job and his dim-witted nature.
Beauregard has appeared in many books and comic books as well, including his own starring book "Bo Saves the Show." Not much Beauregard merchandise exists, but an action figure of Beau was made in 2004 as part of Series 7 of the Palisades Toys line of Muppet action figures. The figure appropriately came with a broom, a mop, and a mop bucket. A Sideshow Bust of Beauregard was also produced in 2002.
WHY DO THE MUPPETS NEED BEAUREGARD?
The Muppets need Beauregard because he cleans the place up (although apparently not very well, as the state of the theater in
The Muppets shows clearly). Though that is important, Beau is also dependable, caring, and loyal. He is a friend to everyone he meets--even insignificant rats. All he wants to do is help, and what's not to love about that?
Moreover, Beauregard works hilariously well with nearly anyone. Kermit (Helen Reddy episode), Scooter (Gene Kelly episode), Piggy (
The Muppets at Walt Disney World), Fozzie (Harry Belafonte episode), Beaker (Elke Sommer episode), Bobo the Bear (Muppets.com), Rizzo (Joan Baez episode), and so many others. Dave Goelz once said that Beauregard didn't become a star because he was too passive and didn't want anything so the writers didn't know what to do with him. I think that's what makes him special... because he doesn't want, he gives. Beauregard may seem dumb on the outside, but he is truly a caring, special character who has a lot to offer other than a sweeping broom.
The Muppet Mindset by Ryan Dosier, muppetmindset@gmail.com
Another of the hardest working Muppets on The Muppet Show, Scooter ranks just above Beauregard only because he is given far more responsibility. Not only is he charged with prepping the guest stars before each show, but he has to keep Kermit's schedule as well--a job for three go-fers! But Scooter always works without hesitation or complaint. His dedication to the show and the Muppets, especially when he's not onstage performing, is truly admirable and worthy of a 24-hour sabbatical today.
Is there any monster in the world who holds more responsibility than our furry pal Grover? (Maybe Donald Trump.) Listing Grover's past work experience would take up more space than I can imagine (apparently Muppet Wiki exceeds my imagination). It's staggering to think about what a work-week in the life of Grover must be like. From Charlie's Restaurant to Super Grover duties to countless other professions, Grover must run himself ragged trying to perform aptly in all of these professions. Grover deserves infinite Labor Days off... but I'm sure he'd get antsy without a customer to befuddle. 
These little guys just managed to inch out Grover on this list because there are so many of them working so consistently. Every Doozer works from dawn to dusk every day building towers that they know will be eaten by the Fraggles. Even with the daunting knowledge, the Doozers never halt their progress. A Doozer's work is truly never done. Even when construction has to cease due to Fraggles refusal to eat their towers, Doozers find another working outlet in knitting! Doozers are the epitome of strong work ethic (almost to a fault). I doubt Doozers observe Labor Day, but we can only hope they find some time to relax. 
Yes, the only Muppet who could ever out-work a Doozer is Kermit the Frog. Obvious one thinks of Kermit's unending amount of duties and obligations on The Muppet Show--from flustered host to unmatched performer--but Kermit's work doesn't end there. He may have retired from his gig as a reporter for Sesame Street News, but Kermit still makes consistent appearances on television programs all around the world, makes movies, TV specials, albums, appears on scores of merchandise, and, as he revealed in some press interview for The Muppets, even burns the DVDs of his projects! Give the frog a break! Anyone who watches him go from flustered to freak-out on The Muppet Show understands how badly he needs it.
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