Discovering the Best of The Muppets at Their Worst, pt. 3

“There Are Times When the Muppets Aren’t Funny.”
“Yeah, But I Always Figure that’s the Writer’s Fault.”

Discovering the Best in The Muppets at Their Worst, Part Three

Justin H. Piatt - Well, here we are again. Time to review the Muppet film that has received perhaps the most criticism of all Muppet films.

I have to admit, this was difficult for me. There is so much in this movie that I love, but so much in it that I also… very much don’t love. This article will also be much more detailed than the previous two, as I feel there is more to defend… and more to criticize. Let us consider the silver lining of the Bog of Eternal Stench that is…

The Muppets' Wizard of Oz
(This could be a long one.)

The Bad:
1.    The first thing I’ll point out is that when I first watched this movie, I liked it a lot. It wasn’t great, but it was good. Then when I watched it on DVD, I liked it even more! … But wait… I’m supposed to be listing bad points here, aren’t I? Well, this is a bad point. It’s bad because with most Muppet movies, you’re supposed to find more and more to love about the film each time you watch it. With The Muppets Wizard of Oz, I find more and more to dislike about the film each time I watch it. Sad, but true. I used to wonder why so few people enjoyed it. Now I understand, unfortunately.

2.    Miss Piggy’s “Cuddles!” I feel as uncomfortable during this as Dorothy and Pepe—Er, Toto seem to.

3.    Pepe. I like Pepe, but he’s kind of annoying here. Like he takes up too much of the movie. I really wish Rowlf had played Toto, and they had found another role for Pepe to play.

4.    “Those are my nipples.” Cringe! I know it’s been said before, but you would have been disappointed had I not brought it up, wouldn’t you?

5.    The Kalidah Critics. A great concept that was poorly executed. Rather than being funny, Statler and Waldorf are just plain mean here. Again, it was a great idea. A nice reference to the book, but… wow, you feel worse for Fozzie in this scene than at the worst moments of The Muppet Show’s first season.

6.    Dorothy’s Don King hair. Maybe it’s just not my kind of humor. Is there actually such a thing as hair humor?

7.    “What happens in Emerald City stays in Emerald City.” Not only an overused joke, but also an overused phrase, and one that disturbs me every time I hear it.

8.    Dorothy is re-born! Or rather, Osbourne. I laughed at this the first time I saw it, but since… Golly, do I hate this joke! I’m also not fond of the Muppets initially teasing Dorothy for her “table cloth” of an outfit. Although, seriously Dorothy, what were you thinking with that one?

9.    CGI-effects. The CG Wizard always bugs me. The effect is poorly done, and I think it could have been much more interesting to do it all live. A live woman, a chicken puppet, a ball of fire. And you’re telling me they couldn’t have hired a real dragon? … Oh. They couldn’t hire a real dragon? *ahem* Sorry. … Um, I’ll also add here that I don’t like the corny delivery the Wizard gives when he’s computer generated.

10.    “The Witch is In the House.” I love the scene, (I’ll delve into that more in a bit) but much of the song sounds very awkward. The lyrics sound like they were written in a hurry, sort of last minute. I know, because I’ve written songs like that. And Miss Piggy’s performance is… well, a little awkward as well. Props to Eric Jacobson for taking the song on. As far as I’m aware, Frank Oz never performed a scene like this with Miss Piggy, so Eric really had no frame of reference here. The fact that it seems like Piggy at all is very commendable.

11.    “Oh-wah-ta-foo-ly-am.” Jeez, what an awful, awful, unoriginal trick that only 3-year olds find funny. I suppose it’s kind of funny that the Flying Monkeys actually fell for it, and Crazy Harry’s “That’s comedy and magic!” line is funny, but… still… A terrible bit.

12.    Angel Marie. Great in Muppet Treasure Island, just awful here. I don’t much like it that Fozzie can take Angel Marie out just by tickling him. And the “Spank me” line? Cringe!

13.    Quentin Tarantino’s cameo. It was really pointless. Broke the pacing of the movie.

14.    Pepe’s “going cyclone” to reveal the Wizard. I don’t think it was as funny as they intended. It’s nice that “Toto” reveals the wizard for who he is, as with the actual Wizard of Oz story, but… well, I just don’t like this part. Next!

15.    Penguins are unisex? Huh? Well, maybe the joke was funny the first time you heard it, but it gets under your collar now, too, doesn’t it? Said unisex penguins are always great, though, aren’t they? Don’t worry, I’ll stop asking you questions now. … Or will I?

16.    This is the first time there has ever really been an out-and-out evil character in a Muppet movie. And the character was played by Miss Piggy, no less. This was a mistake, I think. There should always be some redeemable quality to a Muppet character (or even a character in a Muppet film). Perhaps the only character to come close to being this evil was that Martin Price guy from The Muppets Take Manhattan, and I didn’t like that scene either. (No, Mel Brooks’ character in The Muppet Movie does not count. That was just silliness!)

17.    The framing of most of the movie is very weird. I really don’t like it. Kirk Thatcher’s a brilliant writer, but his directorial style leaves much to be desired here. I will say, however, that his directing skills have greatly improved since this was made. Love his work on Muppets.com and the Give a Day, Get a Day commercials.

18.    The movie also has some story and pacing issues. There’s some confusion about what exactly Dorothy wants. Is she going to Oz to get home or to become a star? If it’s to become a star, why does she suddenly realize she wants to go home? If it’s to go home, why is she singing on the Wizard’s show? Well, I won’t worry about it anymore. I’ll just put this out of my mind whenever I watch the movie, and just enjoy the following…

The Good:
1.    While I wouldn’t list this as a good point, and would have overlooked it entirely, but I wanted to defend Ashanti. Many have a problem with her in this movie. I don’t understand that. I don’t see anything wrong with her performance. I don’t love the casting decision, but it certainly wasn’t a bad one. She interacts well with the Muppets, better than some of the guests on The Muppet Show. … Anyway, I don’t want to spend a lot of time here. Just wanted to point out that I’m pro-Ashanti in this movie.

2.    “The National Weather Bureau has raised the twister alert from right-foot green, to right-foot yellow.” Funny line!

3.    Pepe. Sure, he’s listed as a bad thing, but his wit adds a lot to the movie for me… Yes, at the same time that he annoys me. But, who can resist a proud nudist? And one who’s so very naughty, okay. You did catch that off-color joke about the teddy bear, didn’t you? You didn’t? Well, perhaps you should watch the movie again.

4.    The Dark Side of the Moon reference. For those of you who have actually experienced Dark Side of the Rainbow, I must say… isn’t it just creepy? Um, unfortunately it doesn’t really work with the Muppet version… Line’s still funny, though. As is the “’80s band” summary.

5.    This film follows the original story much better than pretty much any other version of the Wizard of Oz released. And the Munchkins being played by rats was a nice touch, since it allowed Rizzo more screen time while keeping certain story elements intact. (Go read the book if you don’t know why this is so. ‘Tis good.) In addition, LOVE the Munchkin jingle! “Calling all Munchkins! Let’s do lunchkins!”

6.    I like how much fun Kermit seems to have playing the Scarecrow. In fact, I think Kermit, Gonzo and Fozzie are all wonderfully cast as the Scarecrow, Tin Thing and Cowardly Lion. But then, who else would you cast? (I know, I know. Scooter as the Scarecrow. Crazy Harry as Tin Thing. Sam the Eagle as Cowardly Lion. I know, I know.) I also love the design of each character. Very well done, Muppet Workshop or Puppet Heap or whoever was making the puppets at this time. And this is really the first time since The Great Muppet Caper that the three were used as a team again. Love that.

7.    HA! The value of Fozzie’s wallet is increased by the fact that it’s Velcro. *giggle*

8.    Evil bunnies. Evil bunnies should be everywhere in the Muppet universe. Just wish they had popped up again later in the movie, maybe to help fight against the Wicked Witch.

9.    “When I’m With You.” I like this song. Kinda catchy, sweet, fun. And, hey! The Muppets are singing again! Whoo-hoo! And I always crack up over the line “Cashmere is washable!” It’s so random, pointless, and perfect. Pepe: “I don’t have any rhymes for this, okay, so… Cashmere is washable!”

10.    Poppyfields. Groovy, baby! The Electric Mayhem’s song, though lacking in the lyrics department, was fun. And the scene’s also kinda funny.

11.    The secondary Muppet casting. I love Scooter, Bunsen, Beaker and Sam at Emerald City. Perhaps Sam is not the funniest here, but he is well cast. And the initial introduction of Scooter as the “Wizard” is pretty funny. And when are Bunsen and Beaker’s experiments unfunny? … Oh, right. When they involve Kelly Osbourne.

12.    Frank Oz reference. Fanboy says: “Ack! Kermit just said Frank Oz’s name! Eeeeeeeee!” (Freak out; faint; die)

13.    Johnny and Sal as the Wicked Witch’s main henchmen. Hilarious! And love that Johnny’s kind of in love with the Wicked Witch of the West. “No, sugar patch! How could it be?”

14.    Love Fozzie’s volunteering Kermit to stop the Wicked Witch! Poor Kermit. Typical Fozzie. Love it!

15.    “The Witch is in the House.” I love the scene! The song is awkward, but the scene is really amazing. I love all the Flying Monkeys, the lighting is great. The action is good. When I first saw this, it made me think, “Yes, I do want to work for the Muppets.” I should also point out that the Flying Monkeys are great throughout (most) of the film.

16.    “The agony of de-feet!” Yes, Johnny. It is a great pun.

17.    “Do you know what I do to pests?” “You welcome us as part of an unconventional multispecies family?” You know something? I love Rizzo. I don’t think I realized just how funny he was until I started writing this series of articles. Steve Whitmire, you are indeed a genius with that rat. “Eh, Munchkin, actually.”

18.    Quentin Tarantino’s cameo. Do you have any idea how much good is also bad in this movie? Wow. Well, anyway, I really do like the scene itself. I love Kermit’s reaction to Tarantino. And his excitement over affordable entertainment reminds me of The Muppet Show days.

19.    Jeffrey Tambor. (Hey! I wrote Tamboy again!) The very awkward yet pompous nerd that the Wizard turns out to be is a great character. And the revealing of the wig is pretty darn funny.

20.    Piggy’s flirting with Kermit at the end. Dunno. Just like it.

21.    And, finally, the ending makes ya feel good, don’t it? And, no, not just because it’s the end (Stop that, you Kalidah critics!). No, Dorothy reaches her dream, the Muppets get to sing and dance and celebrate as they do best. Okay, so the song’s not the greatest, but it’s still a nice little ending.

Well, initially I was going to make this a four-part series, and I was going to review Hey, Cinderella! Initially, because I remembered disliking it. Then I just re-watched the show and… well, now I guess I like it. Most of it. I still have problems with it, such as how the main focus of the program is entirely on the humans rather than the Muppets. In fact, you could have left the Muppets out altogether and tell basically the same story (couldn’t do that with Muppet Treasure Island, all ye nay-sayers!). However, I don’t think this is enough to base a review on… even though I just did review it.

Wow. This turned out to be a lot longer than I intended it to be. So I guess I’ll stop writing now.

The Muppet Mindset by Ryan Dosier

Discovering the Best in the Muppets at Their Worst, Part 2

“That Act Was So Bad, the Frog Could Have Booked It!”

Discovering the Best in the Muppets at Their Worst, Part 2

Justin H. Piatt - Hi, again! Remember me? I’m the one who whined last week about Muppets From Space. Well, here I am again to delve into the unusual cruelty that is…

Kermit’s Swamp Years

The Bad:
1.    The over-the-top performance of John Hostetter as Dr. Krassman detracts a lot from the movie. I’m all for over-the-top performances, but only if said over-the-top performances are funny. John Hostetter’s over-the-top performance is just bad. It also feels as if he’s talking down to the audience through the whole thing… considering he never talks to the audience directly, this is quite a feat. Kudos, sir! I suppose it’s just that he seems to be thinking, “This is just a kid’s movie, I don’t have to be good.” That brings me to my next point…

2.    This is a kid’s movie. This is only bad in that I don’t think the movie succeeds in reaching out to a broader audience. There is a lot of great stuff that I think an older audience can appreciate, but mainly this movie’s aimed at kids, which it does well in talking to that audience. But I’m not talking to that audience, therefore, “This is a kid’s movie” gets mixed in with the bad.

3.    Gratuitous Muppet mooning… What the hey?

4.    I think a lot of people will disagree with me here, but I never liked Pilgrim. I don’t know what it is, but the character kind of annoyed me. Maybe it was the voice. Perhaps not allowing a Muppet performer do the voice detracts from the overall performance. Perhaps I just couldn’t relate to her. Maybe I wasn’t supposed to like her. Or maybe I never actually watched the movie, and that’s why I can’t come up with a good reason. Who knows?

The Good:
1.    Joe the Armadillo. … Wait… He wasn’t actually in the movie, was he? Too bad. I liked Puppety Sockman the Puppet.

2.    Kermit taking care of his family. It makes me laugh to see Kermit trampled by his brothers and sisters, when all he’s trying to do is help out. Schadenfreude at its finest.

3.    The pet store. Bill Barretta’s performance as Roy the Frog is great opposite John Kennedy as Blotch. Steve Whitmire plays two great characters here. First, Chico, who just cracks me up, and then Jack Rabbit, who is one of the best original one-shot characters in a long time. The song “Life As a Pet” is kinda catchy. Classic Muppets at the pet store. “Oui, oui, poo-poo!”

4.    Multiplying bunnies. Alongside the road at one point, we see two bunnies watching the pet store owner’s truck drive by. The next time someone drives by, there are four bunnies. By the end, there are six. To quote Rizzo, “And this is supposed to be a kids movie!”

5.    Mary, Dr. Krassman’s assistant. One of the best human performances in the movie. Unlike Krassman, she goes over-the-top, but she doesn’t aggravate me because of it. She does it very well, and she’s always so happy and talkative and good-natured. … And she’s kinda cute, too.

6.    Young Dr. Krassman. Again, over-the-top, but in a much better way. The scene with him is corny, but funny… at least to me. “I’m not a froggy pants! I’m not a froggy pants!” A terrible line, but delivered in such a horrible way that it’s actually good.

7.    Finally, outtakes. Not only are there outtakes during the end credits, but also as a bonus feature on the DVD. We don’t see enough Muppet outtakes, and they’re always hilarious. We also get a glimpse of Steve Whitmire’s Link Hogthrob voice during these outtakes, which is great.

You may have noticed that the good in Kermit’s Swamp Years far outweighs the bad in this review. That’s not entirely the case. Dr. Krassman just takes way too much away from this movie. It would have been much, much better in my opinion if it weren’t for him. … Da bum!

The Muppet Mindset by Ryan Dosier

Discovering the Best in the Muppets at Their Worst, part 1

NEWS UPDATE: January 7, 2010

A few days ago, Jimmy Fallon posted a video on his blog that showcased The Muppets performing an impromptu version of the song "One." It was hilarious and Muppety and absolutely had to be shared!

Today on The Muppet Mindset we welcome our good friend Justin H. Piatt who brings us the first of his three part series: "Discovering the Best in the Muppets at Their Worst."

“I’ve Seen Detergents That Left a Better Film than This!”
Discovering the Best in the Muppets at Their Worst

Justin H. Piatt - The Muppets are among the most beloved characters the entertainment industry has ever known. They’ve starred in six theatrical films, several television series, and have even performed live on stage. They’ve entertained millions in over a hundred countries. However, this paragraph is useless as it has no bearing on the rest of this article.

No, no, and no again (and also no). This article discusses the Muppets at their worst! At their absolute most painful! At their most awful, terrible, nauseating, stomach-turning—

KERMIT: Yeesh! We get it already!

RIZZO: Yeah, rub it in, why dontcha!

*ahem!* Sorry.

Generally speaking, there are three Muppet productions that receive less than favorable reviews amongst Muppet fans: Muppets from Space, Kermit’s Swamp Years and The Muppets Wizard of Oz. I’ve chosen to briefly review the first of these three films, discussing both the good and the bad.

Muppets from Space

The Bad:
1.    Well… first of all, the Muppets should sing. Someone once said (see? I did my research) that puppets almost have to sing. But the only Muppet singing in the whole movie is the alien Gonzos singing “Celebration” and Pepe’s very brief rendition of “The Gambler”… and then Rentro’s jalapeno song, but that really doesn’t count. The main Muppet characters should have sung in the film. The fact that this is supposed to be a very emotional and personal story, it would have translated into a musical very nicely. After all, another someone once said that people sing in musicals when they can no longer contain their emotions, and burst out in song to express themselves… I think that was the gist of it.

2.    Awkward cameos. From Josh Charles’ annoying karate (and the fact that he was somehow better than Miss Piggy at it) to Hulk Hogan’s very, very annoying shout-out to his “NWO-ites”... although Jeffrey Tambor’s response to him was perfect. The cameos in general just don’t work in this movie. Personally, I think the only memorable cameo comes from Steve Whitmire as “Rainbow.” Maybe F. Murray Abraham, but that brings about a new question… Who the heck is F. Murray Abraham?

3.    The director. Too much of the movie looked like – and felt like - it was made for television. Then again, what do you expect from a television director? I’ve also heard it rumored that he changed a lot in the script that would have made the whole film much better. That’s just disturbing.

4.    Gonzo is an alien? What??? From MuppetWiki: “The original premise was that aliens had seen [Gonzo’s] acts on The Muppet Show beamed up to their ship from a satellite and wanted to visit him on Earth. Gonzo would believe he was one of them until he discovered the truth at the movie's conclusion.” What was wrong with that? More than likely, Gonzo would have realized that the Muppets were his real family no matter what. That’s a great ending! What happened to it? Perhaps the greatest injustice done to any Muppet production. Perhaps the greatest injustice done to any film, any writer, anywhere, anytime... I exaggerate, of course… Or do I?

5.    Jeffrey Tambor’s hissy-fit at the end. Didn’t like it. At all.

The Good:
1.    Muppets Tonight characters. Bobo- er, Rentro, Pepe, Dr. Phil van Neuter, and Johnny and Sal’s brief cameo are all great. But then, I liked Muppets Tonight. Bill Barretta shines as the dull but gruff and lovable Bobo- er, Rentro- and as Pepe.

2.    Scooter’s back! For the first time since The Muppets Celebrate Jim Henson, we got to see Scooter speak on screen… at least for a few seconds, anyway.

3.    Rizzo is hillarious in this movie, and in perfect character. If this weren’t Gonzo’s movie, it would be Rizzo’s. Of course, if it weren’t Rizzo’s movie, it might have been Mr. Poodlepants’ movie, and then where would we be? … (Note: Write The Mr. Poodlepants Movie script)

4.    Bunsen and Beaker being forgotten at the gas station makes me crack up every time I watch this movie. As does the “R U THREE?” gag.

5.    Jeffrey Tambor… most of the time. Aside from his hissy-fit, which I already mentioned, I really enjoy Jeffrey Tambor’s role In this (Ha! I almost wrote “Tamboy!”) Pat Hingle’s good, too. Didn’t include him with the cameos because he’s technically more than a cameo in this. Also, love this exchange: “Gonzo of Earth, who is this most entertaining friend of yours?” “That’s Ed.” “Hi, Ed.” “Hello, Ed.” “The cape!” “The cape!” “The cape for Ed.”

6.    And the best part about Muppets From Space: The DVD commentary! So good, in fact, whenever I watch Muppets From Space, it’s typically with the commentary on. Some great Gonzo and Rizzo interaction, and the whole thing is improved by the fact that the director says next to nothing. The DVD should have been called “Muppets From Space Commentary with bonus feature Muppets From Space film.”

Well, I could have said more, I could have said less, I could have said something in Japanese, but that was my opinion of Muppets From Space.

The Muppet Mindset by Ryan Dosier