Weekly Muppet Wednesdays: Mulch

Written by Ryan Dosier.

MULCH

Performed by...
Kevin Clash (Muppets Tonight)
Jerry Nelson (The Muppet Show)

First appearance...
The Muppet Show Episode 501: Gene Kelly (1981)

Most recent appearance...
The Muppets' Wizard of Oz (2005)

Best known role...
Dr. Phil van Neuter's grunting lab assistant in "Tales From the Vet"

WHO IS MULCH?

Mulch is best known for his recurring role in the "Tales From the Vet" segments on Muppets Tonight. As Dr. Phil van Neuter's assistant, Mulch grunted and groaned his way through the ridiculous segments. With Dr. van Neuter, Mulch aided in the telling of "scary" animal-based stories. Mulch's aid usually came in the form of lifting heavy things or putting in videos (including one hilariously wrong video of an embarrassing Christmas party).

The first appearance of Mulch came in the fifth season of The Muppet Show. He was seen in the background of Episode 501, guest starring Gene Kelly. His only speaking appearance on the show was in Episode 509, guest starring punk goddess Debbie Harry. Mulch, performed by Jerry Nelson, sang the opening song, "Me and My Goyle" (as "Me and Gar-Goyle") to a female gargoyle he loved. Later in the episode, he revealed himself as a huge Debbie Harry fan, and danced with her during her "One Way or Another" number.

Back on Muppets Tonight, Mulch appeared solely with Dr. Phil van Neuter, in and out of "Tales from the Vet." At various moments, Mulch helped Dr. van Neuter reanimate Coolio's dead body and convinced Dr. van Neuter to use an echoing machine on the show. In one sketch, Dr. van Neuter reveals that he is married to Mulch's sister Composta Heap. In a musical montage set to "She Blinded Me With Science," we see that Composta Heap looks exactly like Mulch in a wig.

Mulch's most recent appearance, and only appearance after Muppets Tonight, was in The Muppets' Wizard of Oz in 2005. Here, Mulch can be seen falling asleep and yawning out the words "Nap time..." in the Poppyseed Club.

WHY DO THE MUPPETS NEED MULCH?
RAAAAAAWWWW!!! AHHHHH!! DEB-BIE HAR-RY!

The Muppet Mindset by Ryan Dosier, muppetmindset@gmail.com

Weekly Muppet Wednesdays: Dr. Phil Van Neuter

Today's Weekly Muppet Wednesdays post is written by Michael Wermuth, Jr.

DR. PHIL VAN NEUTER
 
Performed by...
Brian Henson

First appearance...
Muppets Tonight, Episode 102: Garth Brooks (1996)

Most recent appearance...
Family Feud (2001) also seen at MuppetFest Fan Convention (2001)

Best known role...
Mad scientist (or "friendly veterinarian"), host of "Tales from the Vet" 

WHO IS DR. PHIL VAN NEUTER?
Dr. Phil van Neuter is a scientist, and host of "Tales from the Vet," a recurring sketch on Muppets Tonight. In the sketch, Dr. Van Neuter presents scary, animal-themed, stories, with assistance by his brother-in-law and Igor-like sidekick, Mulch. He makes you wonder about what sort of vet tech school he went to! But the stories, which include "Taylor, the Turkey Who Loved Thanksgiving" and "Percy, the Pork-Eating Pig."

Dr.Van Neuter has occasionally presented special editions of the segment, such as the time he read a fan letter asking about how he met his wife, Composta Heap (including his rendition of the song, "She Blinded Me With Science"), or when he and Mulch brought Arsenio Hall (who had died right before the show started) back from the dead. Perhaps the most memorable Dr. Van Neuter segment occurred when Mulch accidentally played a video from a Christmas party, where Dr. Van Neuter made a fool out of himself by getting drunk on eggnog.

After Muppets Tonight ended, Dr. Van Neuter continued to appear for a few years. In Muppets from Space he was a brain surgeon for C.O.V.N.E.T, where he almost sucked Gonzo's brain out with a Quadrilobal Brain Probe, until the lab rats interfered. It was revealed here that he hated rats, but he got over it by the end of the movie. Dr. Phil Van Neuter later showed up at the MuppetFest Fan Convention in 2001, where he had his only interaction with Dr. Bunsen Honeydew. His last appearance occurred later in 2001 when he was among the Muppets who showed up for a week of Family Feud.

MEMORABLE DR. PHIL VAN NEUTER QUOTES
"A-E-I-O-U! Scared ya, didn't I? Yes, always!"

"If you experience any sort of unpleaseantness, please let me know. I would hate to miss it."

"Good news! You're covered with a ten dollar co-pay."

WHY DO THE MUPPETS NEED DR. PHIL VAN NEUTER?
It seems debatable as to why the Muppets would need Dr. Phil Van Neuter. After all, they already have their resident scientists, Bunsen and Beaker. In fact, since those two were main characters on Muppets Tonight, it's debatable that Dr. Phil van Neuter was even needed for that production. But Dr. Phil Van Neuter does add an energetic and comically frightening element to the Muppets. If Brian Henson ever goes back to performing with the Muppets, I'd like to see Dr. Phil van Neuter included again. If anything, he can be competition against Bunsen and Beaker.

The Muppet Mindset by Ryan Dosier, ryguy102390@gmail.com