The British C’s Alternative The Muppets Spoilers 2011 Edition

The British are coming! The British are coming!

One may well cry such an alert in Ryan’s general direction as I, the British Correspondent, have a little something to say about (topically) spoilers. So incensed am I with those who have flooded the internet with these unexpected segues from a review into a spoiler without warning that I have tricked Ryan into checking out an omelette station (note The Muppet reference) while I break through the security links of his blog and post my revenge, Miss Poogy style...minus the bad wig, obviously, my hair is perfect.

Anyway, having found myself once again rampantly let loose upon the site, I have decided that rather than continue the circle of mild-irritation (or RAGE!) cause by accidently spoiler-sharers, I will help the situation by leaking a number of al alternative spoilers that may or may not be true in order to keep you guessing right up until the time you get through the theatre door (or in my case, the cinema door).

The British C’s Alternative The Muppets Spoilers 2011 Edition

• Bruce Willis is the ghost
• Fozzie uses sight gags for the sake of comedy, which may or may not include a pair of fart shoes
• Life is a happy song
• Amy Adams has alliteration in her name (which makes her sounds= a little like a character from Sesame Street)
• It is not that easy being green
• Soylent green is people (Kermit Green is a fantastic, warm colour to paint your child’s nursery)

• Gonzo and Camilla are an item (an item of what exactly remains to be seen...)
• The Muppets contains the Muppets
• Something happens at the beginning, in the middle and at the end of this movie
• Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water (the movie Jack and Jill went only downhill)
• You are reading this list (Spoiler alert!!!)
• Waldorf’s wife is called Astoria (this is a pun, therefore, it is funny)
• The butler did it (usually)
• The 80’s Robot is not from the 70’s or the 90’s
• Someday they will find it, the lovers, the dreamers and you (yes, you)
• Rowlf is a dog who plays the piano
• Emily Blunt is hot (usually)
• The Glee Club does not win at nationals (but they go home with a moral victory, or something like that)
• You can’t read my, can’t read my, you cannot read my poker face
• The Village is really set now (as is Smalltown, just not beset with monsters)
• Jason Segel is not a seagull (he also does not appear naked in this movie)
• I am your father (yes, you)
• Various characters return and can be seen in the background of many scenes (including Kermit, Miss Piggy, Gonzo the Great and Fozzie Bear)
• Whoopi Goldberg is not a Muppet (we think)
• I had a blueberry Muffin for breakfast (it was delicious)

• Kermit and Miss Piggy to not share a sibling (Dan and Serena off of Gossip Girl do)
• That picture is not from Gossip Girl --->>>
• Smalltown, USE is not the birthplace of Superman (That is Smallville...and technically Krypton)
• There are no Fraggles in this movie
• James Bond survives (even when shot at by hundreds of random evil guards)
• The bellhops look like rats (and you should see the chambermaids!)
• Scooter works somewhere for someone doing something before he is brought back together with the gang
• Miss Piggy is NOT Miss Poogy (however, they are both pigs and attractive)
• Pepe also belived in Santa Clause despite appearing cynical to his existence
• Ryan’s cat once had a perm (and I have photographic evidence of this event which I use to blackmail him on dark days)

• Miss Piggy did NOT steal Lady Holiday’s necklace (it was all a clever ruse!) (Wow, two reference in one fake spoiler)
• These spoilers stopped being very funny about three spoilers ago but I still have space to fill and after taking over the blog I can hardly leave it half heartedly filled with mildly interesting semi-spoilers or I shall look quite the idiot so...hmmm....here's one final one:
• The word “Phenomena” is traditionally followed by the saying “Doo doo, do, doo doo” (Scientifically speaking)

Your regularly schedualed Weekly Muppet Wednesday programming will resume (one assumes) whenever Ryan can reclaim the blog from my evil tyranical British clutches.

Love as ever!

-The British C

Weekly Muppet Wednesdays: Miss Poogy

Written by Ryan Dosier.

MISS POOGY

Performed by...
David Rudman

First appearance...
The Muppets (2011), first seen in "Green With Envy" teaser trailer

Most recent appearance...
The Muppets (2011), recently seen in an on-set interview

Best known role...
Leader of the Moopets; opposite of Miss Piggy; lover of omelet stations

WHO IS MISS POOGY?
Miss Poogy is the anti-Miss Piggy; a ruddy, rough looking pig. She dresses in a leather jacket with lots of fishnets and chains. Miss Poogy's only role of any sort is as a Moopet who performs with Fozzie Bear in Reno, Nevada in the 2011 film, The Muppets. There, she acts as the leader of the gang of tough, mean Moopets which include Koormit, Joonice, Roowlf, and Animool. Miss Poogy dresses in a blonde wig, a white dress, purple gloves, and a boa for the act, in order to impersonate Miss Piggy (but if you asked Poogy, she'd say she doesn't need to impersonate that hack-pig anyway).

Miss Poogy joins up with Kermit the Frog and the rest of the Muppets for a brief stint in the movie after Miss Piggy refuses to return to help save the Muppet Theater and Studio. The Muppets soon regret their decision of hiring the tough pig when she brings out and starts sharpening a knife, asks for kerosene to burn some of Miss Piggy's old dresses, and gives off a generally threatening persona. That is, until Miss Piggy shows up to reclaim her spot among the Muppets. She and Miss Poogy have a showdown, but Miss Poogy's affinity for omelet station leads to her downfall at the karate chopping fist of Miss Piggy, proving that no one can replace Miss Piggy.

Miss Poogy returns later to join Tex Richman in his quest to destroy the Muppet Theater and Studio and brings the rest of the Moopets with her from Reno, including Foozie Bear. The Moopets join up with Tex Richman, Uncle Deadly, and Bobo the Bear and move to thwart the Muppet Telethon efforts in various ways during the show. Will they succeed? Will the Moopets replace the Muppets? See The Muppets in theaters one week from today to find out for yourself!

WHY DO THE MUPPETS NEED MISS POOGY?
Great question. They really don't need Miss Poogy, as it turns out. But it did take Miss Poogy and the rest of the Moopets to show Kermit and the Muppets just what it is that makes them so wonderful. Miss Poogy can't even hold a candle to the divine Miss Piggy, and her triumphant return proves that. The same can be said for the rest of the Moopets. Fozzie realizes this very quickly and escapes Reno and the Moopets to go back with Kermit and the actual Muppets--an act that truly means something. The Moopets, and Miss Poogy, prove the world and the Muppets that singing and dancing and making people happy is the most noble goal, and laughter is the greatest gift you can give the world.

The Muppet Mindset by Ryan Dosier, ryguy102390@gmail.com

The Many Faces of Non-Muppets

Good Moorning to you my friends and fellow Moopet fans. It is I, the British Corespoondent, once again reporting to you live (mostly) from an undisclosed location that looks a little like the inside of a suitcase tagged and sent on a plane from Reno to the Paris Backlot to catch my new favorite touring tribute band playing live on the next leg of their world tour. If oonly I could figure out what act they are suppoosed to be a tribute to... I noticed that the Janooce one looks a little like a female Mike Jagger, but other than that it is hard to tell who they are supposed to be. I am sure I have seen something similar somewhere in the past...but cannot for the life of me pin it doown.

Speaking of tributes, I see that your regular host, Ryan, is attending a tribute to the great Jim Henson at D23 this weekend at the Disney Legends event. He poosted on twitter that Brian and Lisa Henson are supposed to be appearing, and that everyone is wearing Kermit Crown hats (whatever those may be?). Luckily while he is away updating us via his twitter account (loocated here) I am free to poost whatever I should so fancy on here!

So, I see that soome of you are a little skeptical of my big fandoom leap from Muppets to Moopets (how funny that they have similar names...weird) perhaps because you woonder how I can be a fan of a tribute band when I could have the real thing (if only I could figure oout what the real thing is...), so I wanted to show you that oover the years there have been plenty of amazing (and semi-amazing, and doown-right-terrible) tributes, even to the fuzzy, furry guys that this site was originally created for (The Muppets, I mean, not the fans or Ryan's cat).

One example of a Muppet Tribute is the effortlessly superb rendition of Mahna Mahna by the band known mostly for its baking inspired name. I heard that even Marie Antoinette was something of a fan of this band as she is famously recorded in history as saying, "Let them listen to Cake."

A similarly epic tribute can be attributed to the KC Girls who performed Mahna Mahna for the Youtube Millions to much aplomb. (It can be seen here). I feel they really have it down to a fine art and my favorite thing about this video (if I can pick a favorite!) must be the girl in green waiting throughout the entire skit, just to pick up the phone. We should pay tribute to such a tribute!

Another tribute was performed by Jason Mraz (America's answer to James Blunt) with this sweet meloodious version of the Rainbow Connection. (He also sang it with Paul Williams, which can be seen here.)

This actually awesome indie rock band provide a unique twist to the oopening music of Muppet Treasure Island. I had this as my ring tone at one stage, but once scared a bus load of oold people when it went off whilst I was doing independent research into the DNA left in chewing gum under bus seats.

Of course who can forget when The Commodores released a tribute track to that morning scene in Muppets From Space (some 22 years previous to the moovie's release).

Below is a true tribute from a true Muppet Fan (the kind of fan who not oonly writes fan-fiction in his spare time, he also pleads with Disney, negotiates a contract, persuades his friends to produce and direct, pulls in all his celebrity friends as cameos and then releases a movie on the big screen starring our beloved Muppets! Just 95 days to go for you lucky Americans, while we Internatioonals have to wait for AGES.)

And finally, it brings us to a track off of The Green Album, an album entirely devoted to Tributing the Muppets (and the occasional Otter). Its Andrew Bird with Being Green!

So you see...my leap from Muppets to Moopets is not so drastic as it may seem. After all, it follows a strong tradition of tributes to great musical moments!

If only I could figure out which musical moments the Moopets are actually referencing...

Is the name "Miss Poogy" some kind of hint?

(Images pinched from Moopet Wiki)

The Moopet Mindset

Peoople of the woorld, it is I the British Corespoondent. I have had a very important revelation that I need to share with all yoou wonderful readers of Ryan-blog, and it is this: I have moved on.

Yes, I know what you are thinking, you have moved on from being a blog-hacking investigative reporter that regularly hijacks Muppet people's blogs on the weekends? You have moved on to maturity and serious journalism?

No no no. Obviously not.

I have moved on from THE MUPPETS.

My new fandom of fandoms is: THE MOOPETS.

You know that amazing live band? I got a chance to see them in Reno and immediately fell in love with them. There was something so familiar about their lead singer Miss Poogy, their band manager Kermoot and the piano playing dog Roowlf. So familiar, and yet so new, so edgy and so exciting.

And so, let it commence. A week of the Inspirational, the Celebrational and the Moopetational! This is what we call The Moopet Mindset!  Stay tuned as we explore the Woorld of the Moopets and investigate oother non-Muppet artists such as that "OOK, Goo" band, those girls on youtube who 'Doo doo, do, do, do' and the Green Album, and as I do my best to protect yoou from seeing any fascinating, interesting or exciting Twitter posts from that Ryan Doosier chap who used to run this blog, but is now cavorting around Disney Woorld!