1 The Muppet Mindset: Muppet Commentary Mondays

Jun 7, 2010

Muppet Commentary Mondays

To Whom it may Concern (and frankly, if you are reading this website in the first place you probably have cause to be concerned),

I am sending this letter, much like a message in a bottle, from an undisclosed water-based location (okay, it’s my bath, but that’s beside the point). The point is, I have jammed all normal transmissions from the Dosier of Ryan while he foolishly thought it wise to travel abroad leaving the blog unguarded and -- much like pirate radio of old -- I am taking over this blog in the name of freedom, honour and the right to boogie. (Okay, not that last one. But the others apply.)

Seeing as I was unceremoniously banished from this website following several unfortunate incidents during my previous takeover (note to Ryan: I still intend to replace your cat…) I have decided that the only way to prove my worth and return to writing articles of value for this most treasured and important of websites is to delve deep to my West Coast Smuggler roots and pirate the website for a week.

By the time Ryan regains control he’ll know I’m too important to be dropped by the roadside (which may actually be what happened to Ryan’s cat…).

Now, indulge me just this once and read this Pirated article!

-The British Correspondent

And now in my first outlandish act of piracy…

MUPPET COMIC MONDAYS TO BE REPLACED BY MUPPET COMMENTARY MONDAYS BY THE BRITISH CORRESPONDENT (our apologies to the Muppet Comic Guru James Gannon…just go with it for the sake of comedy, okay?)

Greetings. It has been a while since I found myself (as I mentioned) cut off from the land of the blogging and so it has been for quite some time that you poor readers have been deprived of my deepest thoughts and most intimate feelings regarding recent Muppet happenings, so let's get a quick rundown...

Prince Charles will not be appearing in the new Muppet movie. As Ryan mentioned a few days ago, the British Prince Royal will not be appearing in the movie because he has important engagements opening parks and helping old ladies cross the street...And good for him! Everyone knows that doing volunteer work is more important than appearing in some movie. Hang on... Where is he sourcing these rumours? That article has nothing to do with bonny Prince Charley...it's all about some actor named Charles Grodin. Goodness...well, I don't know what I think about that! How dare Charles Grodin put volunteer work ahead of the Muppets! Well! I'm shocked, shocked I say, at such selfish behaviour. Tsk tsk. (Views expressed by the British Correspondent do not necessarily reflect the views of this blog...)

My Uncle (twice-removed) will not be appearing in the new Muppet movie. Based almost entirely upon salacious rumours, Ryan felt that it was important to blog here that my Uncle would be playing a deadly part within the new Muppet movie, however I can confirm that my uncle is currently laid up with gout and will certainly not be making a transatlantic flight to appear within the movie no matter what James Bobin or Nicholas Stoller may have said in interviews over the weekend. Who are these people anyway? One sounds like the name of a beach pony and the other like a French beverage...What's that? According to a list of Muppet People You Should Know they are the Director and co-Writer of the movie respectively? ...Oh well...in that case I take back the remark about french donkeys and beach drinks and...right...yes...I just realised that original article was about the Muppet named Uncle Deadly...so...not really my uncle then...right...moving on... (Special thanks to the person whose baby picture I stole borrowed for the formatting of this article)

Sam's opinion on American women was revealed the other day but there is still no word as yet regarding his opinion of the British Woman...or, as I like to refer to them, "Ladies" but I am suspicious that it is somewhat similar to his feelings regarding Canadian Rock Bands...

Anyway, that, my friends, is a Muppet Commentary Monday. I do so hope it has been informative... (And I do so hope that Muppet Comic Mondays will return to its normally slotted time next week...but shh...I'm pirating!)

Stay tuned this week for more piracy, an unexpected Weekly Muppet Wednesday and possibly (depending how long I can keep this connection open and the Interns and Ryans of this blog out) much much more!

Yours as ever,


  1. TBC! How DARE you! Ooh, I will have your HIDE for this! I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE! ...Or, at least, the last line of your address, and how big can Great Britain be? SHAME on you! Piracy is VERY strongly frowned upon! ...Unless of course you do it with a rousing musical number and a big fancy hat. And since it's exceedingly difficult to present a rousing musical number via blog, I simply will not stand for this.

    --The Intern

  2. This is not good! Again! You take the stage. Lisa! Get back on task!