Greetings, Muppet fans! It's over, it's finally, really over... The Muppet Madness Tournament 2011 has come to an end and a winner has been declared! Who is it? Well... he needs a proper introduction. Ladies and gentleman, the furriest, bluest, superest monster of them all...
...and he is cute, too! Yes, Super Grover is our winner, ladies and gents! Congratulations to everyone's favorite super monster--and my own pick to win. My ballot really did well this year... thank you Super Grover! And thank you Steve Swanson, Joe Hennes, Ryan Roe, and Dave Hulteen for letting The Muppet Mindset be a part of the tournament this year.
And without further ado... here's today's article.
Everything I Know About Life, I Learned From Miss Piggy
Hilarie Mukavitz - The divine Miss P. has been a role model of mine for quite some time. I thought it was about time I wrote about why that is.
1. Never miss an opportunity to make an entrance.
Forget less is more. If you are a bona fide diva, MORE is more. She was also a prime example of when you blow said entrance... how to brush it off and move on, as you can see here:
2. Foreign languages are important, and can add a touch of class.
When I was 7 years old, I had two weeks of French in summer school. After that, naturally, I was an expert. For months afterwards I insisted that everybody in my neighborhood speak to me in French. One of my childhood friends still bares the trauma of me trying to force him to pronounce "croissant" in the proper French pronunciation. Of course, when my very tolerant next door neighbor said "Parlez vous francais?" I had no idea what he was talking about. I suspect Miss Piggy went to the same language school for her French.
3. When you are having a bad day, the best way to deal with it is to have a good laugh with your best friend.
We've all had those days. The Broadway career isn't taking off and you are stuck in retail... and you've just caught the frog of your dreams being all kissy kissy with a cute young thing. Best thing to do is to get together with one of your gal pals, maybe give each other a makeup and laugh it off.
4. Being strong and tough and being a girlie girl are not mutually exclusive traits.
Miss Piggy and I were both products of the 1970's. The feminists of that era were rebelling against the whole June Cleaver image of women in the 50's. While I'm a big fan of Gloria Steinem and the like, and appreciate the strides forward they made that my generation benefits from... I didn't particularly care for the more masculine fashion sense that went with 1970's feminism. One thing I've appreciated about Miss Piggy is she showed you can wear pink poofy sparkly, clothing. However if a certain amphibian tries to mess with you, there is the option of SHFFITF... stomping his froggy face into the floor. You can pursue your mugger one minute, and show ladylike gentility to people coming to your aid the next.
5. Women can be the hero too!
I have always gravitated towards strong women characters. One of my first forensics pieces was the Japanese folk tale "Three Strong Women" about a mother, grandmother and daughter that help out a sumo wrestler... after they kick his butt first. Red was my favorite Fraggle because she took charge, and was a rival for Gobo.
I'd have to wait a couple of decades for Buffy the Vampire Slayer... but until then I had Miss Piggy. In the original Muppet trilogy, Kermit may have been the leading man, but Miss Piggy was the true hero. When Kermit was about to get an electronic cerebrectomy, it was Piggy who karate chopped their way to freedom. It was Piggy who resisted the charms of Nicky Holiday's dubbed operatic charms, and broke out of prison just in time to save her precious time. Finally, when Kermit becomes an amnesiac right before their big Broadway debut, it's Piggy who makes sure that the show still goes on... and karate chops Kermit into remembering his true identity.
The divine Miss P. will continue to be an inspiration to me. Now, if you will excuse me, moi has to go exercise and do some phone lifts. Okay... maybe I should have chosen a different Muppet for my exercise regimen...
The Muppet Mindset by Ryan Dosier