Weekly Muppet Wednesday: Clueless Morgan

Today's Weekly Muppet Wednesday post was written by our frequent contributor Casey Daron. 

CLUELESS MORGAN

Performed by...
Bill Barretta

First appearance...
Muppet Treasure Island (1996)

Most recent appearance...
Muppets Tonight (1996-1997)
Muppet Snow White comic book (2010)

Best known role...
Dimwitted pirate goat; bartender

Memorable quotes...
"What was that song that just happened?"
"You don't have to wear a suit!"

WHO IS CLUELESS MORGAN?

Clueless Morgan is a clueless goat, hence the name "Clueless Morgan."  He first appeared in the film Muppet Treasure Island as part of Long John Silver's band of pirates. His bad-boy brethren were Mad Monty and Polly Lobster. Clueless is possibly the worst/most inept of all the mutineers on the Hispaniola. When in battle, he strikes his own men and surrenders easily.

In the film, Clueless Morgan kidnapped Gonzo and Rizzo the Rat and took part in torturing them. This resulted in he, Polly Lobster, and Mad Monty to be thrown in the brig where it was revealed that they were working for the wicked and deceitful Long John Silver. Thankfully, Clueless was too dumb to accomplish much in the way of wickedness. In fact, he proved his idiocy even further in an interview for Muppet Treasure Island, Clueless Morgan realizes that he was in a movie, and thinks "It must be really good then."

After Muppet Treasure Island, Morgan made a few appearances in the UK Spots on Muppets Tonight. These "At the Bar" spots feature Mr. Callahan, a cross-dressing monster, demanding a drink from Clueless Morgan. Here, Clueless worked alongside his pirate buddy, Polly Lobster, once again. After serving Mr. Callahan a drink, Clueless Morgan would sing a short song, before Mr. Callahan would run off or pass out from the effects of the drink.

Since then, Clueless Morgan has disappeared from onscreen appearances. He did appear briefly in a tertiary role in the comic book Muppet Snow White. In an interview with The Muppet Mindset, Bill Barretta, Clueless Morgan's performer stated, "Unfortunately, he was lost somehow after Muppets Tonight and has never been seen again. If anyone out there has seen him, please ask him to call home. His family misses him."

WHY DO THE MUPPETS NEED CLUELESS MORGAN?
Well, I guess the Muppets don't really need Morgan, considering he hasn't been seen in nearly 15 years. However, he does provide something we want. In Muppet Treasure Island, he plays a supporting role, and keeps a solemn plot such as this entertaining and fun. He is also a great punching bag for all the other pirates. Clueless Morgan is essential for Mr. Callahan, by singing songs to him and serving him drinks before he runs off. Although the Muppets may not need him, the audience sure does. Morgan kept the Muppets silliness and absurdity alive, as Jim Henson would have wanted.

The Muppet Mindset by Ryan Dosier, muppetmindset@gmail.com