How To... Make School More Muppety

Kyle Mahoney - As the beginning of the 2013-2014 school year approaches, our minds think of very specific things: New shoes, autumn, essays, and, of course, MUPPETS.

As I’m sure most of you can relate, I've been cramming as many Muppets into my summer as possible by watching DVDs, listening to music and burning through my savings by buying Muppet stuff. But as the school year approaches people wonder how they can keep Muppety while also going to classes, doing homework, and dealing with (dramatic pause) people.

But with these five easy steps you can have the most sensational, inspirational, celebrational, Muppetational school year ever.

1.   Muppet School Supplies: During your classes you will be using pencils, pens, folders, binders, pencil cases, and lots of other stuff. So do your best to stock up on these items featuring Muppets and Sesame Street characters. And if you are a collector of sorts maybe even your Dinosaurs School Kit! Looking at the beautiful faces of Jim Henson’s creations will make learning even easier!

2.   Muppet Music: This one is a no-brainer. When walking to and from school or to and from classes, just pop in your headphones and listen to the songs you’ve been listening to all summer. These songs will get you amped and ready for education!

3.   Sesame Street: It’s educational... so watch it.

4.   Clubs/Events/Performances: If you are part of a club and need an event to raise funds remember that everyone loves a Muppet movie! Don’t be afraid to host movie nights, many of your classmates will come. Many schools also have performance events where students can show off their stuff. Feel free to be a performer in these events and show off your love of Henson by singing or re-enacting.

5.   Get creative when assigned projects: Many teachers/professors in recent years have been giving students the option to choose their own topics for their papers/projects as long as they stay within the general assignment. This is especially used in Communications and Media classes. But whenever possible try and use the Muppets to help get you better grades.

With these five tips I can 100% guarantee that you will shoot to the top of your class and become valedictorian on your first day of school.*

The Muppet Mindset can not be held responsible for the academic standing of it’s readers--let alone its writers. In addition to the tips above, determination, a good work ethic, brown-nosing, and many other things are the key to getting good grades at school. None of these tips are proven to work, so please don't assume such. Also, don't tell your teachers, parents, or school administrators where you got any of these ideas. We can't handle another lawsuit.

The Muppet Mindset by Ryan Dosier, muppetmindset@gmail.com